its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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