Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
