How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
