I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
