New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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