is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
