I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
