I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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