my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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