boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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