On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
