you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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