I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We are all done wearing pants today
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
