Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
