just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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