Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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