do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
