why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
