Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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