also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
