Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Betty ford says i'm here all night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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