im about as happy as oj after his trial
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
