Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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