So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
