note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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