alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
