The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
