Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
