i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
