I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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