I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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