i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
