Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
