She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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