Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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