I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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