is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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