Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
