Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
