Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
