Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
