you guys were way drunker than both of me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
