How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
