quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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