I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
