im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
