I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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