His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
