hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
