We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
