I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
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