Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
