It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
organizing the empties. That sober.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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